i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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