Nicole vs. Life
Buhtt sex?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
