Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Randomize