Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
