she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
A bitchslap is in order.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
