Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
