I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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