It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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