we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
