we have officially lost it.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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