So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I wish i was in the wii world.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
