Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
