our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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