check it out our google latitudes are spooning
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
