she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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