i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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