It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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