is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
