JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
