god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
