I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
