Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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