we have officially lost it.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I love you.
Bad choice
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
