there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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