please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
