please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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