Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
