this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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