i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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