So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We had sex on a dog bed..
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
