My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
