Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
