well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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