he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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