doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
whose parrot is this?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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