i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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