just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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