Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
