We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
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I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
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I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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