I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize