Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize