the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
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