U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
can u get pink eye on your cock?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
