Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
