I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
