please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
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The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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