if you like me you must not know who I am
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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