i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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