Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
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You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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