I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize