When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
