i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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