Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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