I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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