Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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