You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
then he tried to convert me to islam
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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