We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
And then he peed in my hair
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