Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
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The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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