Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
