well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Randomize
